too little too much

Two women enter a room. One has a million dollars the other the dream of a million dollars. They each control the other. Which one are you?

One thinks she is too much the other thinks she is not enough. Each one lives the fullness of the identity they have adopted and each one lives completely controlled by the people around them.

These two women go by the names of Sarah and Hagar. It’s an ancient story where Sarah is promised to have generations of offspring that will outnumber the stars in the sky, with one caveat; she is old. Hagar, on the other hand is merely a servant girl, who could never imagine life outside of service. Their story is full of a roller coaster that has both of these women operating out of their two worldviews: “I am too much,” and “I am not enough.”

Sarah’s position is that she is barren, but she has been given this grand promise. Her opportunity is her need for God but rather she decides to take her destiny into her hands and give her servant to her husband in hopes of offspring. She is too much to wait on God in her need that she takes action. What we see is an attempt for her to control her righteousness, her destiny. Her focus is ultimately on herself and what she can do. She responds to Hagar with harshness, even blaming her husband for her actions. She demands that Abraham choose between the promise or her. She wants the promises of God but the mantra of “I am too much,” gets in the way of God’s perfect timing.

Hagar’s position is servanthood, yet before her is the opportunity to receive the blessing of marriage and children, she has the opportunity to be a partaker in the promise, yet she functions out of an unworthiness. Immediately, Hagar, once she conceived broadcasts a self-righteousness toward Sarah. That her lowly state and her sudden favor of the Lord’s is her crown of righteousness. False humility takes stage and she ends up fleeing from her mistress. She believes that she is not enough and that she must go. All she wanted was to be seen yet the mantra of “I am not enough,” keeps her hidden and fleeing from view.

The story continues, Hagar returns and Sarah ends up conceiving almost 15 years later. At the ripe age of 100 Sarah gives birth and she has the opportunity for blessing and motherhood. Sadly, her focus of “I am too much,” remains. She begins to blame God for having a child so old, demanding that people will laugh at her so much that she starts accusing Ishmael of mocking her and demands that they leave forfeiting the promises to Abrahams decedents. The nagging thought that she is too much and the thought that her son could not share God’s promise with Hagar’s son takes prime stage.  She wants what God wants, but her self-focus declares that her destiny is just for her rather than all of humanity.

As Sarah’s opportunity moves toward blessing while Hagar’s moves toward need.  She and her son are accused of mocking Sarah, they are cut out, and sent away. She immediately gives up, walks away from her son in their need, and assumes the worst; namely that he will die.  Her worldview of “I am not enough,” causes her to give into her circumstances, focus on the negative, and acts as though God could not see her. She wants God to see her and meet her need but she can’t see that God wants to give her more including the blessings promised to Sarah’s son.

Comparison identity is by far one of the most enslaving mindsets yet. Men, women, young, old, no one is immune from the talons of comparison. It demands that you look at other people, anyone, as the sum total of your worth and value. It is exhausting, never ending, and most specifically enslaving. You either are looking at others and as more than you or less than you.

One says that you are too much, that God needs your help, and demands that God do things the way you think. The other says that you are not enough, that God won’t help you and that you don’t have anything to live for. Both of these extremes damage who you were made to be. They damage what you were made for.

You are made to live free. To be fully you, participants in the blessings of God and partakers in His purposes and plans. Lay down comparison, lay down the old mantras of being too much or not enough. Step into who you were made to be!

-C